8-19-2013 “I Love You, But…”

Isn’t that the most annoying start to a sentence in the world. About 100% of the time, it’s followed by something negative. It’s like the “i-love-you” is supposed to be a cushion and the person saying it is about to push you down a flight of stairs and hope that the cushion softens your inevitably painful landing.

Stop it. I quote John Mayer with: say what you need to say. You’re going to hurt him/her/zir anyway. Just get it over with and stop trying to sugarcoat everything.

My boyfriend has said it to me and I’ve said it to him. “I love you, but… can we not spend every day together?” “I love you but… can you stop playing bass when I’m trying to ask you a question?” “I love you but… I love Harry Potter more.” I mean, what? Ignore that last part. Don’t ignore it, I love Harry Potter more than anything.

What made me think of this was actually the fact that I’m finally going to be at home for a few days for the first time in a long time. My foster mom was away and had changed the locks (long story, but it was a good idea, trust me), forgot to make me a copy, and it was impossible to get one what with her being out of town. “You’re always with your new boyfriend anyway.” Now that she’s back in town, I can get a key made and spend some time with my dog and hopefully some friends.

It’s about $4 a day to get to and from work, but having the extra $40+ didn’t hurt. Naturally, money is an issue especially for a girl who’s still getting under minimum wage. But I’m realizing how great it is to have privacy or, personal space, if you will.

“I love making money, but…” – I’d probably take being poor for a few months over going through what I do at my current job. Sometimes I feel bad about complaining but I’d rather work somewhere with a more positive atmosphere. I don’t want to walk into work and have people drag me down with every single thing that’s wrong with their lives or this job, etc.

You can’t change the people around you, but you can change the environment. That’s exactly what I’m trying to do. There’s a crafts and fabrics store that’s hiring, as well as a couple of halloween places, so if I can use those as transitions while I work on my computer skills, I think I’ll feel a whole lot better about the situation. Even if it hurts my wallet. (I work close to 50 hours a week – without any benefits – but having a part time job would mean maybe 20 hours a week. Poor and happy > slightly poor and miserable)

I hope for as much positive energy as I can get! 

[The Fitness Segment, because a post by me would be incomplete without talking about running or pilates or some such thing]

I usually don’t go running past midnight, but since I was working tonight I didn’t get out until 3:30am. I still wanted to run so I made my way as fast as I could to my boyfriend’s place and got my running gear on.

One word could describe it perfectly: AWESOME! But most runs are pretty awesome, what with the whole runner’s high perk. Am I right?

Unfortunately I only have about an hour left before I should get some sleep, which means I’ll either be drawing or writing… My zombie story needs a good dusting. But then again, my drawing skills have cobwebs.

Eenie meenie miney, writing it is.


About vagabondrunning

I am a 23 year old female alcoholic attempting to get healthy for the millionth time. I'm a baker at a donut shop, so there's temptation everywhere. I'm also a writer and I move a lot. I'm just a whole lot of insane.
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