Fat Burn February (surprise I’m back)

I’m doing recovery week of Insanity and preparing for next month’s challenge.

March = 5k in under 30 minutes.

Rules for this month:

  • Limited dairy
  • Run 4x/week
  • Finish Insanity ON TIME
  • Consume 1400-2000 calories/day

Personal goals are:

  • straight As
  • maintain schedule
  • work 5x/week
  • take more progress photos
  • draw once a week
  • one youtube video a week
  • one freebie a week
  • 1-2hrs clip work/week

I’ll write a better update later. Ta-ta for now.

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9-12-2013 Out of Commission for quite some time.

I ended up in the hospital for a few days due to a pretty bad cut in my thigh… So I won’t be running until it heals. That means I’m gonna be doing NOTHING for the next 6+ days.

Luckily I have a new journal so I get to write about all of my feelings. Joy! I didn’t get to bathe or change my clothes for 3 days and I still don’t get to have any baths because I can’t get my stitches wet.

Well, I’m not sure what else to say. I’m thinking I’m just gonna watch Pretty Little Liars on Netflix until I can muster the energy to delve deep into my metaphorical heart.

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9-6-2013 Break Ups and Weight Loss

So my now ex boyfriend was away for a week visiting his family and the night after he came back he came over to visit. I gave him a slice of homemade coffee cake and baked cookies, and heated him up some of my leftovers.

I’m the type of person who likes to avoid conversations that I know will upset me and I knew it was coming so I did my best to just steer the conversation in other directions. Until he said, “I want to, but-” and I told him to shut up, I didn’t want to have this conversation.

I was PMS-ing, which I had mentioned to him earlier and I had missed my boyfriend so I wanted it to be a good, relaxing evening. Instead we spent a few hours in his car, both of us crying and me yelling a lot, until we went inside and was silent for a good couple more hours.

He took me to his apartment for one last night together and I packed up some of my clothes that I had kept at his place. When he tried to hug me goodbye, I wouldn’t let him. I turned into the old me. The cold-hearted ice queen who doesn’t let anyone touch her and uses her humor as a defense mechanism and will not beat around the bush when it comes to opinions.

Yesterday night he picked me up so I could grab the rest of my things, although he’s supposed to be bringing me my desk today. We ended up crashing while watching Workaholics together and in the morning, he said, “You’re making me regret my decision.” “You should, because you’re gonna come crawling back in a couple months.”

I know my value, and I also know that if someone can’t stick through my hard times and just be there for me, instead of trying to fix me, then they aren’t worth my time. I gave up drinking because of him, when I should have done it for myself. I decided to enroll in college because he said I should get a real education.

I didn’t want to change for anybody. It should have been for myself. I started running for myself. I started doing pilates for myself. I do music and art, for myself. I blog as therapy.

It isn’t fair of him to want me to change when months before he had said he wanted to marry me. I’m not like some toy that runs out of batteries and can easily be fixed. I’m a human with problems and I deal with them on my own.

A couple weeks ago before he had gone on his trip, I had said I was going to look amazing by the time he came back. He had said that I wouldn’t change that much in the course of a couple weeks. On our last night as a couple, before bed he noticed that I had lost a good amount of weight. He said I looked perfect and asked me how I did it.

“I kept running.” Now he can watch me running away from him. It’ll take a long time for him to catch up to me.

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8-31-2013 I love/HATE running

Before I get into it, I’d like to make a small little note of: I’M GOING BACK TO COLLEGE AND IT’S ONE OF THE MOST FRIGHTENING THINGS IN THE WORLD! I’d probably find it easier to be naked in front of a hundred people than go through this… for the 5th time! I’m hoping my boyfriend will help me through the whole process.

Ok, the subject at hand: RUNNING. I hate running. But I love runnning, too. Only runners understand this… until now. For those of you who don’t know, I run every other day, except when I’m sick and then I don’t run at all and let myself get all disgusting.

Here’s what happens when I run:

Step 1: Make sure my phone is charged because I use it while I’m doing HIIT running.

Step 2: Walk for two minutes as a warm-up.

  • 00:00:00 start running for a minute and a half
  • 00:01:30 “this feel great” rest for a minute
  • 00:02:30 “all right, time to start running again, woohoo!” start running again
  • 00:04:00 “omg why am I doing this to myself, my chest!!! KEEP BREATHING”
  • 00:05:00 “please let me recover in this 60 second walk”
  • 00:06:30 “I think I’m dying, I think I’m dying, I think I’m dying. Just a few more intervals!!!”

This goes on for twenty minutes. During the run, I hate it but I love it. I hate feeling the fire in my chest, but I like feeling like I’m fighting and winning against the wind. I also LOVE the one my legs feel after the run.

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8-28-2013 Flattery at it’s best

8-28-2013 Flattery at it's best

They say that imitation is the best form of flattery, right? So I’ve been trying to find as many styles as I can and see how they feel… Which sounds kinda dotty, but just trust me.

I’m struggling with my own style so I’ve been trying the things that I either grew up with or the new stuff like Mr. Gus (Uncle Grandpa) and Jake’s Puppy (Adventure Time).

I’m still far from ready to put anything of my own out there, but I’m learning. That’s the whole point, right?

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8-28-2013 Life of Pie

So I’ve decided the title and basic plot structure of my webcomic, which won’t come up for a really long time. Also, I’m currently listening to the podcast “Welcome To Night Vale”.

Life of Pie is about Kuki, a jaded unemployed chick who constantly fends off Ike, a brute with a high IQ, and struggles day to day life to the amusement of everyone else.

So that’s what I’ve thought of so far…. Although I’ve got more detail, that’s as much as I’d like to get out.

UPDATE ON THINGS HEALTH: So I need to go to the grocery store BADLY since my mom has pretty much nothing of health here. I also need pepto bismol, since my stomach is still having massive problems. Did I mention how much pain my abdomen was in on my run yesterday? It was brutal.

So my boyfriend is at the airport right now on his way to visit his family and I won’t be seeing him until sometime late next week. I already miss him so much!

Also I’ve got a couple college options. I’m stoked, but I’ve got the whole money thing to worry about.

My mind is again, all over the place, so I’m going to finish this podcast and then sleep.

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8-27-2013 Back from “vacation”

So yeah… Wow…

Ok, but the point of this post is, I went to the doctor’s with my boyfriend and a guy had a seizure and my boyfriend made sure he was ok. Is it possible that I fell in love even more with him? Oh… oh yes it is.

Anyway, I also made a lot of decisions whilst being at the hospital. One: draw more. My boyfriend was looking at my cartoons and agreed that I should really start doing it more so I could start a strip.

Then I also decided to go back to college for the 5th time… and start going to al-anon with one of my friends.

I don’t really feel like saying anything else right now since I’m still feeling poopy from earlier. (Oh yeah, the reason I went to the hospital was because of my left ovary and my stomach problems… and I haven’t ran in about 3 days, which is going to change in a few hours.)

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